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Step #5: Use Mirroring to be Charismatic

I want to let you in on an advanced body language strategy that can get people loving you on a subconscious level. It’s called mirroring, in scientific lingo it’s called “limbic synchrony” and occurs due to mirror neurons, which we discussed earlier.

Put simply, it’s ‘listening’ and ‘responding’ to people’s body language cues. It’s crossing your arms when they’re crossing theirs, positioning your feet the way their feet are positioned and even incorporating their pace of speech.

Pay attention the next time you have a great conversation, notice how you’re both likely following each others body language cues, it’s hardwired into the human brain thanks to evolution. It’s a natural way to show you’re engaged with someone else.

When you’re speaking with someone you can mirror things like:

  • Their body posture – If they’re leaning in or leaning back, you can too. If they’re standing straight and have their chest open, that’s a great posture to assume. Avoid mimicking low-power poses like slumped shoulders.
  • Pace of speech – If someone is excited and speaking fast, you can do the same. If they’re speaking slowly, you can do that too.
  • Facial expressions – If someone is furrowing their eyebrows and is telling a sad story, you can mimic them to show that you’re empathizing with their story. If they’re having fun and laughing, smile to show that you’re engaged with what they’re saying

When mimicking, don’t be overtly obvious. You’re not trying to repeat every gesture like a real mirror, you’re looking to engage in the same body language they are. If someone changes their body language, give them a few moments before mimicking. Use your best judgement, if someone is changing their body language every few minutes, it’s going to look weird if you’re immediately copying every single cue they make. This is a powerful strategy, so use it wisely and observe it in the wild before using it.

Conclusion

Going to a party can be intimidating but by taking initiative, being approachable, selfless and charismatic you’ll be on your way to go to parties and socialize with ease. Treat every conversation as an opportunity to deeply connect with another human, be interested in them and unlock their mysteries. Finally, it’s all about the follow up so make sure to come to the next event, keep up the social momentum!